ALL or nothing

I can keep a bag of unopened chocolate chips in my house for a long time. When the bag is unopened, I am uninterested. But the bag is open - and once the bag is open, it may as well be empty.

One handful, followed by another, followed by me at some point tipping my head back with the bag high in the air to drain every last chocolate crumb. So much for baking chocolate chip cookies. I suspect in some kitchens, chocolate chips are a baking supply - a staple for baking. Not in my kitchen. Not today.

It all starts innocently. In fact, it starts with self-control. I tell myself "I have not eaten a single chocolate chip so far. They've been in the house, and I have said no. No chocolate chips." Yeah, Me! Without missing a beat comes the next thought "yes, but they are already open, and if I don't eat them now, they will be gone." It gets better. The next thought is "I'm not supposed to eat chocolate chips, and I'll never eat them again, so I better eat every single one of these now because this is my last chance ever."

Lie #10: If I don't eat it now, I'll never have it again. (Sometimes telling you the lie makes me laugh out loud. This is an absurd lie, but in the moment I believe it with all my heart.) By practicing partial self-control (avoiding the yum-yum) for a period of time, and then succumbing to the temptation, I have trained my brain to believe that all or nothing is the only solution. Worse yet, the more times I do this (rather, the more times I have done this), the more I ingrain the "all or nothing" response.

The TRUTH is: I am creating my own scarcity. It is not real. I can have chocolate chips, or Pringles (mmmm...I love Pringles), or whatever I want right now. I have created a deep "belief" about scarcity by placing certain foods on an endangered species list. And because that belief runs deep, I have to find ways to trick my brain into trusting that this isn't the last time. I need to train my brain to be comfortable with delayed gratification. By postponing the "nothing", by delaying "never", I will teach myself to trust that "all" is not the only way to eat.