ALL or nothing

I can keep a bag of unopened chocolate chips in my house for a long time. When the bag is unopened, I am uninterested. But the bag is open - and once the bag is open, it may as well be empty.

One handful, followed by another, followed by me at some point tipping my head back with the bag high in the air to drain every last chocolate crumb. So much for baking chocolate chip cookies. I suspect in some kitchens, chocolate chips are a baking supply - a staple for baking. Not in my kitchen. Not today.

It all starts innocently. In fact, it starts with self-control. I tell myself "I have not eaten a single chocolate chip so far. They've been in the house, and I have said no. No chocolate chips." Yeah, Me! Without missing a beat comes the next thought "yes, but they are already open, and if I don't eat them now, they will be gone." It gets better. The next thought is "I'm not supposed to eat chocolate chips, and I'll never eat them again, so I better eat every single one of these now because this is my last chance ever."

Lie #10: If I don't eat it now, I'll never have it again. (Sometimes telling you the lie makes me laugh out loud. This is an absurd lie, but in the moment I believe it with all my heart.) By practicing partial self-control (avoiding the yum-yum) for a period of time, and then succumbing to the temptation, I have trained my brain to believe that all or nothing is the only solution. Worse yet, the more times I do this (rather, the more times I have done this), the more I ingrain the "all or nothing" response.

The TRUTH is: I am creating my own scarcity. It is not real. I can have chocolate chips, or Pringles (mmmm...I love Pringles), or whatever I want right now. I have created a deep "belief" about scarcity by placing certain foods on an endangered species list. And because that belief runs deep, I have to find ways to trick my brain into trusting that this isn't the last time. I need to train my brain to be comfortable with delayed gratification. By postponing the "nothing", by delaying "never", I will teach myself to trust that "all" is not the only way to eat.

Speak up - I can't hear you over my food

I don't eat doughnuts. Actually I should say, I don't usually eat doughnuts. So, when I came home to find a fresh maple bar resting on my kitchen counter, I was underwhelmed. It was a treat from my in-laws, intended for my six year old as an after school snack. I was honestly indifferent to the existence of this pastry sitting in my kitchen.

And then, it spoke to me. It's true. First it was a whisper. "Hey there." Right then and there I should have turned and shouted "SHUT UP"...but I didn't. Moments later, like a pick up line in a bar, the doughnut said "It's been so long since we've seen each other. Come sit down, let's get re-acquainted." I'm such a sucker for a long lost friend.

My sweet toothless first grader has no idea what he missed. That tasty treat was gone before his dismissal bell even rang. So, where is the lie in all of this? Do you see it? Lie #9: I am powerless over food.

THE TRUTH IS...there were factors that precipitated the decision to give into the doughnut. Triggers lead up to the linguistics of lard and sugar. At that particular moment, I needed something - I was experiencing an unmet need. A void was needing to be filled and it just so happens that the maple bar was there when I needed it.

So, when you see me next week in the grocery store yelling at the cookie aisle "Shut up, already!", please stop and give me a hug. I need it.

I don't know much, but this I know for sure

Here’s what I know.

I know: Quick radical change does not work. NO diet will work forever. And adopting a radical new exercise program will NOT stick.

I know: We are overly critical and we love a numeric goal.

I know: It is common to yearn for quick change. We also feel that the quick change will give us “footing” to keep moving forward. I often hear that if we even try or taste particular foods we could spiral out of control. Here’s what I know about this – these are issues not about food selection, but about over indulgence. Therefore, we must address the overindulgence, not the food.

I know: Every excuse we tell ourselves, steals a piece of our personal power.

I know: We talk a lot about wanting a different shape – to be a size 8, to weigh 125, to fit into the jeans we wore before we had kids. But rarely do we mention that we want “ease” of mind.

I know: When I have seen people make significant changes in their lifestyles (me included), there is a “flow” that occurs. An “ease” of thought about what you’re eating, how you look, how you feel, when you’ll exercise. You operate “as” your healthy ideal. It does not require work; it is just who you are. This is our goal.